Carpool lanes still not coming to the Windy City 

What do Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, LA, San Diego, Phoenix, Houston, Dallas, Memphis, Nashville, Atlanta, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Boston, NYC, Denver, Minneapolis, and Salt lake City all have in common? They all have carpool lanes! But not Chicago. I wonder why? Is it because the State of Illinois, IDOT, or even the City of Chicago doesn't want them? Or is it because there is more money to be made in keeping things the way they are?

If you live in the Chicago area, you already know how horrible the traffic is. In fact, it's so bad that there's a saying that goes like this:

" There are only two seasons in Chicago - Winter and construction."  

Sounds funny but it's no laughing matter for the millions of Chicagoans who have to put up with one of the worst commutes in the country. Not only do we pay some of the highest auto insurance and gasoline prices in the nation, but we have to deal with a system of commuter highways that is guaranteed to give even the meekest  of drivers a good case of road rage every now and then.

OK, so I've stated the problem, and it's pretty clear what it is. Now, I'm going to offer up the solution. It's so simple that you won't believe it, or maybe you've already had the same thought yourself.

Carpool lanes! That's right carpool lanes. Duh, you say. So what's standing in the way? Mayor Emanuel, Governor Rauner, and Mr. Randall S. Blankenhorn, ( he's the Secretary of Transportation for Illinois), I hope you are all reading this. I see absolutely no reason why the reversible express lanes can't be turned into carpool lanes.

The only thing really needed would be some new signage, a PR campaign, and some HD cameras at the entrances to the newly renamed carpool lanes. Actually, the term being used by the US DOT is " HOV " or high occupancy vehicles. And enforcement really shouldn't be that much of an issue.  Let's say that the cameras can be programmed to get a good freeze frame of every vehicle entering the HOV lanes. Shouldn't be that hard considering how they already do it with the red light cameras. If a 2 person per vehicle occupancy minimum is established, anyone caught with only themselves at the wheel is automatically issued a ticket. Bing! Instant revenue for the City of Chicago. What's not to like, Mayor Emanuel?

Aside from the extra revenue for the perennially cash-strapped city of big shoulders, the additional benefits are many. Fewer cars equal less congestion, shorter commute times, more available parking, fewer accidents, lower insurance rates, and lower fuel costs. It's a win-win for everybody!

So, I ask you all again. What's standing in the way, can you give a good answer?

Audiences Will Be Blown Away

Batman Boulevard- at the Corner of Tragedy Road and Irony Lane

I'm sure you all remember the theater shooting in Colorado this Summer, it was nearly two months ago today. And although the horror of this incident may have been supplanted by more recent global atrocities, there is something really eerie I've been meaning to share with everyone, so here it is. Take a look at the advertisement my friend Dan found in the Chicago Reader dated the same night of the shooting. Pay special attention to the copy and I think that you will, indeed, be blown away.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Life imitating Art? or Art imitating Life? You make the call.     

Happy 4th of July Phil!

I hope everyone had a safe and fun 4th of July. With the searing heat that seems to be affecting just about everybody, I thought  this might be a good time to revisit what it really means to be an American.

Right now, I'm sitting in the comfort of my air-conditioned home thanks to a guy named Phil, who, in my opinion,  gets the All- American award for this 4th of July.  To be honest, I don't know if Phil is a flag-waving patriot, a Republican, or a Democrat, and it doesn't matter. What does matter is that Phil exemplifies the American spirit by handling himself in a way that many other Americans would do well to emulate.  So what did Phil do for me that makes me think so highly of him? Simple­: He did what he said he would do. Doesn't sound like such a big deal, but when you're sweating bullets and the AC cashes out on you at the onset of  a heat wave, you come to appreciate the value of service like never before.  

You see, Phil runs a small heating and cooling company  and has always been my go to guy for any HVAC work. So naturally when my AC went down, I called Phil.  Phil has a well- established business with a long list of loyal customers and is always busy, yet  somehow, he manages  to always respond to me both  quickly and professionally.  He gives me the kind of personal attention that makes me feel special and has earned my loyalty without question.  To be specific, a lot of AC guys would jack up the price or gouge you for a new unit in the middle of a heat wave,  and it's a perfect example of how some ugly Americans take advantage of their  fellow Americans in a crisis. Fortunately,  I didn't have to go that route or wait indefinitely for someone to show up  because I have Phil. Phil is fair, honest, does great work at a great price, and provides great service. He is, in a word, an All- American.  Instead of ripping people off when the opportunity arises, Phil realizes the value of building a long-term customer relationship so when the need for a major replacement arises, he gets the call. In fact, there is no-one else I would even consider calling because I know I can trust Phil to do the work right the first time, on-time.  No contract, no-deposit, just a handshake–the way real Americans still do business. But let's not just be American on the 4th of July, let's try being true Americans all-year long, just to see what happens.

Sure , you may still get screwed every now and then by those who can only think of themselves, but when you get past them and if you look closely, you'll probably see that you have a Phil or two in your life and you didn't even know it.

Happy 4th of July Phil !

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the City

 I avoided a crash!

Of course, I ripped off the title for this blog post by changing only one word, but here's what I found amusing– As I made my way inbound on I90, traffic was heavy so I actually had a little time to digest the latest in billboard marketing. Between the Des Plaines Oasis and O'Hare, there are at least five billboards. Two of them showed women,  and one some skin.  One for a "gentleman's"  club, one for an exotica festival, and another for electronics recycling with a tag line something to the effect of " we think recycling is sexy". The other two billboards were for a casino and the Illinois Lottery. So, what does that  say about us as a society? Probably that we haven't come very far when we need to resort to showing women in seductive poses to sell products or services. Or– that every driver is male and all he wants to do is have sex and gamble. You decide. Either way, it's kinda sad that these vices vie for our attention along with the texting epidemic that seems to have afflicted the nation's drivers. In a world full of distractions, let's get back to focusing on what's in front of us. Namely, the road. C'mon people, we  can do better. 

Kenmore - No More: So long Sears

It's no secret that I like male genitalia nothing that is sold in the US is made in the US, and we're constantly being implored to be patriotic and buy American. So why am I bitching? Because when I try to buy American, I get screwed.  Sears is a perfect example. Once a brand that was the undeniable flagship of American manufacturing, Sears too has fallen on hard times. Its stores are closing left and right, and its attempt to become a major player in the online retail world doesn't seem to be working. But before we go there, I'd like to tell you all why I personally will no longer shop at Sears.  A couple years ago, I purchased  all new appliances for my kitchen. I bought all Kenmore, with the exception of the dishwasher,  a Bosch which the salesmen recommended. Recently, the $900 refrigerator stopped working, so I called the Sears service hotline. The next day, they sent out a tech who told me that the compressor was bad and that it would cost $1,200 to fix it. Naturally, I declined, because as is the case with most everything these days, it's cheaper to buy a new one rather than to fix the old one.  I chatted with the repair tech about my refrigerator and found out that although it said Kenmore on the front, it was an LG product (an Asian company) that was assembled in Mexico.  RU kidding me? Sears? Made in Mexico? Via Korea or wherever, it just proves that American companies are just as deceitful as any other when it comes to full disclosure.  Perhaps, it was my fault for not asking the salesmen where it was manufactured, but Sears had always been my "go to" brand for appliances because of its reputation for quality and reliability. I just assumed that anything Sears would be made in the USA, apparently I was wrong. So much for brand loyalty. Sears, you will never get me back as a customer because of your crummy warranty and your lousy product. I'd tell you where to stick your Craftsmen wrench, but by now I'm pretty sure you know where that would be.  So long, Sears.

Time to Reinvent the Wheel

Consumer Spending Model for Growth Simply Doesn't Work

We've all heard for years that consumer spending accounts for about 2/3 of GDP, and although it has traditionally been a solid driver of the economy, the time for change is indeed upon us.  I look at it this way. Picture you, the American consumer as a sponge, and let's make water debt. Now, as a consumer, your ability to absorb debt cannot last indefinitely. At some point the sponge needs to be squeezed and the water needs to be removed. Squeezing the sponge regularly to keep it dry and clean is like paying your bills on time.  You remove the burden of debt  from your life just as you would  moisture from the sponge. Those who fail to squeeze their sponge regularly carry around a lot of extra water (debt), get waterlogged, begin to deteriorate, and eventually lose their ability to absorb. At this point, the consumer can usually declare bankruptcy and get  issued a new credit card with which he can start accruing more debt right away, which he will eventually be unable to absorb again. Thus the cycle of creating more debt is ensured, as long as the "wheel" of consumer spending continues to turn.  

Well folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the ''wheel" is broken and it needs reinventing. Not that I'm advocating we don't go shopping; we all need food, water, and shelter to live, but it's the conspicuous over consumption of products and services that we really don't need that is driving us deeper into the abyss of debt.  And there seems to be no end in sight. So, here's the challenge. How do we move away from a consumer based society when that's all we've ever known?

A tall order to be sure. I haven't got the answer, I wish I did. And apparently, none of the geniuses at any of those Washington "think tanks" have either. Nobody from Harvard or Yale has been able to do much about it as well. So, if any of you reading have got any ideas on how to fix things, I'd sure like to hear from you. In the meantime, squeeze your sponge regularly. You never know when the next tidal wave is coming.  

A Two Horse Race with No Winner

Now that we know it will be Romney vs. Obama for the future of mankind, we can all rest assured that regardless of the outcome , there will be no winner. The American people certainly will not win, that is nothing new. We're used to getting the short end of the stick. Being conditioned to accept mediocrity and malfeasance from our elected officials has led us to where we are currently, and although the occupy Wall St. movement may be a good start, I fear that it will be too little too late to make much of a difference. I hope I am wrong.

But the predicament we are in goes far deeper than the traditional conundrum of having to choose the lesser of two evils. You see, no matter who sits in The White House, our fundamental problems will continue to haunt us until someone has the courage to step up and break the mold. For all of his good intentions, Obama has not been able to do it. Blame it on the Republicans if you will, but whatever the reason, he just hasn't gotten it done. And if you think Romney is up to the task, you're going to feel like you're in a dream from Nightmare on Elm St. if he gets in. So where does that leave us?

Pretty much holding the bag again, being forced to endure the lousy decisions and policies that have dogged us year-in and year-out for decades. Because the two-party system allows only a choice between candidate A and candidate B, it's always a crap shoot. Even if your candidate does get elected, there's no guarantee that he/she will be able to deliver on the campaign promises they have made. Competing agendas from the right and the left bring power to bear with an unsavory medley of lobbyists, politicians, and  money. And until this stops, there will continue to be no winners.  Unless lobbyists and their influence peddling coffers are removed from the equation, we simply will not be able to move forward as a nation or a society. 

So there it is folks, read it and weep. Obama's got his money behind him and Romney's got his. When all is said and done, whoever wins will still be beholden to the interests that put him there.

Friends Worthy of Praise

Although some of our friends may let us down from time to time, the huge importance of friendship should never be taken for granted.  The feeling I had after receiving three calls in one day last week was a stark reminder of who my friends are and what they mean to me. I hadn’t been having a particularly good day, but somehow, after talking to them I felt like I was on top of the world.  If you are lucky enough to have three friends like these in your life, you are lucky indeed. You see, I am pretty close to all of these people despite the fact that I may not see them that often. Some live close, others farther away. Yet, I have managed to remain in touch with them and can always rely on them to come through for me in the clutch. Whether it’s helping haul supplies from the local home improvement store, fixing something around the house, or just sharing some good conversation over a casual lunch, I  realize that the nature of my friendships is much bigger and much better than I had thought.  Just being able to talk about things in an open manner without being judged or having to worry about my trust being betrayed is priceless in and of itself. But when you get the feeling that your friends are actually offering the support and validation you need, then it’s icing on the cake. On the other hand, it’s nice to not be too needy too often, then your friends may start to think that you are taking advantage of them, and that’s when trouble begins to brew. So, if you feel like I do about your friends, make sure you acknowledge their efforts on some level, and let them know that you really appreciate them being there for you. And although it may sound corny, sometimes just giving up your time to be with or talk to someone is the best thing you can do.

Perhaps Mickey Rourke said it best in Barfly– “ Bartender, drinks for my friends”

Gratefully yours,
Michael

ALL IN THE FAMILY

While my title may suggest a walk down TV’s memory lane, I’d really like to address the topic of working for a family owned business. If you are lucky enough to get a job offer in this tight economy, there’s a good chance that it will come from a small business which can often be a family business as well. But before you accept any offer, you might want to consider a few things I (and many others I’m sure) have learned along the way about working for a family run operation.

Personally, I have worked for three during my career and I’ve noticed some similarities that I think are worth sharing. Whether there are more pros than cons depends on your specific situation, but generally, here’s how I see it.

First, the money probably won’t be as good as if you worked for a larger company with bigger profits and a bigger payroll. Owners tend to be stingy and infrequent with pay raises, and make sure the family is taken care of before the employees. I can’t really blame them, but it still bears mentioning.

Next, your chance of moving up in the ranks isn’t very good because the ownership likes to reserve the management positions for family members only. They do this to retain control but can carry it to such an extent that little gets done because of internal bickering. Often, the son has inherited the business from his father and they don’t see eye-to-eye on how things should be run. In a lot of cases, offspring are pressured into “keeping it in the family” because the parents “have worked so hard to build the business”. Many times, they grudgingly accept the responsibility and end up running a business that their heart is just not into. Ultimately, customer service and the bottom line both take a hit, adding problems to an already dicey situation.

Additionally, many owners are so emotionally attached to their business that they fall prey to poor decision making and impulsive moves when things start to go south. They insist on using outdated and inefficient methods of doing things because they don’t know any other way, and are usually unwilling to accept any advice from outsiders. Thus, the “nobody’s gonna tell me how to run my business” attitude prevails and the owner ends up shooting himself in the foot because he can’t swallow his pride.

On the up side, family employers are usually more flexible when it comes to work schedules, and the environment is more casual too. Dress codes tend to be lenient and if you need to talk with the boss, you can sometimes do so directly without going through the long chain of command found in larger organizations.

Now I’m certainly not advocating that you don’t take a job just because it’s a family business, this is no time to be picky. But just remember that when you go into a family business if they aren’t happy there, you’re probably not going to be happy there either.

Caveat Emptor!

V is for Virtual

With few options and even less time, Jason reluctantly reached for the screwdriver and began to remove the tower's cover . All he really needed to do was to cash the hard drive to cover his ass, the RAM and peripherals wouldn't give anybody enough to put him away, but it didn't matter. Even if he managed to slip out of his predicament, it would be way too risky to try anything again. Effectively, it was game over. As he removed the drive from its harness, he felt the presence of someone behind him and the touch of metal to his skull.

"I'll take that" said the voice of a woman. "And don't make any sudden movements either, I'm a little edgy right now."

"How in the hell did you get in here?" demanded Jason

"What do you care? Shouldn't you be asking who I am, and why I'm here?" she responded coolly.

Her confidence was obvious. She was a pro who had done this at least a few times before if not many. What the hell did she want from him anyway? He was in deep shit for sure, so why didn't she just bust him and get it over with. He couldn't figure it out.

" Are you a federal agent, part of some task force on cyber-crime or something?"

His naiveté produced a slight chuckle from her.

"Did you see that on TV? Come on, you're smarter than that."

He knew she was right,  but he still felt like a dumb shit for getting caught.

"Yeah, well if I'm so smart, how did I let all this happen?"

"Oh, that's easy. Same as always. Just couldn't keep it in your pants could you? Had to let the little head rule the big head, eh?" He sighed with a deepness that unburdened his breath.

" I guess it was kind of lame, thinking that I could go on forever without somebody catching on. "

" That's OK" she replied. "You see, Jason, it seems that we might have a need for someone with your unusual set of skills in our organization." 

" Are you recruiting me?" he wondered aloud.

"I like to think of it as more of a leveraged buyout, considering the circumstances."

 " So... what are you offering?" he asked hesitantly.

"That depends on how things go in the next few days. We'll need to look at your hard drive and see exactly where we are at."

" You mean how much you can blackmail me with?

Again, she couldn't conceal her laughter.

" Oh, my. You really do have an overactive imagination ".

But that's exactly where things were headed with this mysterious Madame x, he just had to play along until he saw a way out. As long as they had his hard drive they had a huge bargaining chip, and he had zip. It was getting late, and he was spent from all the excitement the evening had produced.  Although he was tired, he felt like he needed to do something and at least make one last ditch attempt at an  escape. Should he wait for a moment for her to drop her guard and try to overpower her? Did she have backup waiting outside to fly in and rescue her if things went south?  All unknowns, and it didn't help with his decision making either, which was getting exponentially more critical with each passing second. He lunged for the gun in her hand and it was lights out. He never saw it coming.

He awoke several hours later with a good size bump on his head and the accompanying throb of a recent wallop. These guys were pros to be sure. Her stealth and that of her accomplice proved that he was  dealing with some heavy-hitters, but he still couldn't figure out what the hell they wanted with him.  As far as he was concerned, he was small fry.  Just some guy who wanted to hunker down on his PC and get off.  And what was so wrong with that anyway?  In his eyes, it was still sort of a victim less crime. As long as he was providing pleasure for his virtual partners, where was the harm in that? Of course, he knew that society would frown upon such a thing even though it had created more grotesque perversions  of its own. But that was the type of inherent hypocrisy that got him going in the first place. Pedophiles and pornographers were all over the internet anyway, and he wasn't selling anyone's pictures or videos for profit either. In the grand scheme of things, he just didn't think it was a big deal. But obviously someone else did, or he wouldn't be sitting where he was right now.  In need of an ice bag and lots of answers.

Jason Reloaded - Source Code Part 4

He kept a keen eye in the rear view mirror but really couldn't tell much about the car or the driver because of those damn new xenon headlights, just that it was a small luxury SUV, maybe a BMW or a Lexus.  He decided to take a detour and head for the seedy part of town, past the railroad tracks and out by the trailer park.

Whoever it was that was trailing him, they took the bait. Now his heart was beating faster, but not from fear. The adrenaline rush of the pursuit had made his mind razor sharp again and he was firing on all eight cylinders.  After a long winding turn where he was able to lose his shadow's lights for just a few seconds,  he quickly pulled off the pitch black road behind some brush  to avoid detection. It worked. The car slowed and lingered for a moment , but then went on.  Now he was the predator instead of the prey, a position he was more accustomed to.

He pulled out after a short minute and eventually caught up with his mystery driver just before the trailer park. He was almost close enough to read the plates when some drunken yahoo from the trailer park pulled out onto the road in his old pickup and nearly caused an accident. Jason had to lock them up to avoid a collision and that was just enough of a diversion for Racer X to get away.

Deciding to call it a night, Jason pulled a UEY  and headed back to town for his apartment. On the way home, he began replaying the night's events in his head , just to make sure he kept things straight. He was pretty sure it was a woman behind the wheel, possibly blond. And there was a good chance it was the same woman he saw at the gas station.  For now, that's all he had.

As soon as he got home he checked  his screen. A tap of the space bar resuscitated the machine back to operating mode. Still no change. Damn! How long would his luck holdout?  And exactly what would happen  if and when his server's location was revealed?  Would an FBI Internet Fraud Team come after him? Would they kick down the door to his place? Would he go to prison?

 

Though he had managed to turn around tonight's situation and was feeling good for the moment, the anxiety and paranoia continued to gnaw at his underbelly.

He still had this humongous technical problem to deal with and some difficult decisions to make. Normally, he was more proactive in his defenses and would never have allowed something like this to happen. But if he could stay just one step ahead of his trackers, he'd be happy for now. At least that's what he was telling himself.

Turns out the decision was made for him by someone at the other end. As his screen suddenly went black and rebooted on its own, Jason knew exactly what would happen next. The operation timed out and initiated a series of programs that would eventually lead back to his server, and ultimately, his account.  But again, the nagging question. How long? How long would it actually be before the walls really began to close in on him? Minutes, hours, days? There was no way to be sure. Should he try to make a run for it? That would be foolish and only draw attention in a small town where everyone was nosy. And besides, where the hell was he going to run to anyway? The nearest  town was over forty miles away and the nearest airport was over two-hundred miles. He was fucked. He either had to stay put and destroy all his files, all his computer gear and basically shut down the whole operation, or he could take his chances on the lam.  The sound of a train whistle in the distance momentarily gave rise to the thought, but he quickly dismissed the option as a bad choice.

Feeling the squeeze coming on, Jason searched feverishly in his head for a solution to his dilemma . He had tens of thousands of his hard earned dollars and a lot of sweat invested in his cybersex system. And even though it ultimately failed him, it had taken a long time to develop  the software that  allowed him to roam the internet with impunity, and he was emotionally attached to it. It wasn't going to be easy to let go of his baby.

Click here to read part 1 , part 2, and part 3 of Source Code: Jason

RIP Bob

I'm not in the habit of writing obituaries or in memoriams, but an old friend passed away recently and I felt a special need to share it with all of you.  You see, Bob and I had been good  friends back in the day, but I hadn't seen much of him over the past few years. Ironically, I had been thinking about Bob over the holidays but I never bothered to pick up the phone.  The last time we spoke a few months prior, he was outside his office downtown grabbing a smoke. Bob was just beaming as he told me of his son Henry's acceptance into a top- rated high school on the north side of Chicago. No easy feat with the highly competitive academic requirements. It was great to hear from him and to hear the genuine sound of joy in his voice at his son's accomplishment.   And while we had grown apart over time, we nonetheless could still pick up a conversation as if it was just yesterday. It was especially sad for me to hear of Bob's passing, of course, because he had recently been in my thoughts.

At the funeral home there was no casket to view. Just the small but elegant wooden box holding his remains from cremation.  I saw people I hadn't seen in a long time, we all sat close together upfront near the podium, right behind Henry and his mom, Anne.  A group of Bob's co-workers were a few rows behind us.  After his family said their goodbyes and told some funny anecdotes about Bob, his  sister Alexandra faced the room and asked if anyone else would like to say a few words about Bob.

   

There was a long and somewhat awkward pause, so I got up and said a few kind words about how Bob had been such a good buddy for letting me crash at his place when I lost my keys during a night of misguided drinking.  I felt like an idiot afterwards, with all the things I could have said. But following, many others paid their respects  with consistent references to his generous nature,  his kind character, and his devotion to being Henry's father.  It turned out to be a really nice tribute for a guy who didn't have an easy life, battling severe physical issues, who somehow managed to pull it all together with the help of his family, friends, and co-workers. But most of all, it was Bob. He was the one who took on the challenge and met it head on. Nobody else.

So here's to you Bob, it really was great to know you and we are all proud to have been your friend. 

Word of the Year for 2011 - Robust

While it might be a little late, I'd still like to nominate robust for the Word of the Year 2011.

The adjective's  ubiquity has been  unequaled in its use this year as a modifier for everything  from robust computer platforms to robust cell phones, and the trend shows no sign of stopping. A quick search revealed more than  147,000,000 results on Google alone. Did you know that you could have Robust Statistics?  And you could have some robust coffee while perusing those stats. And if you ever need to know how to design a robust monitoring system, fear not, for it too is out there for those willing to take on such a challenge.  Too technical for me.

I'd rather sit back and read a report about the robust earnings my investments were making, if only it were true. And if you really wanted to get technical, you could speed up your robust features for a better understanding of  the convergence of visuals and imagery. Even the restaurant industry is reporting robust action in the highly competitive pizza and bakery markets.  And hospitals are taking  robust measures to battle disease and save lives. How about a robust shopping cart for your blog?  As you can see, the possibilities of robust pursuit are everywhere around us.

So here's to you robust, you've truly earned top billing in my book for Word of the Year. You and all your bad ass Robustness,  BTW , by Thomas J. Sargent, Winner of the 2011 Nobel Prize in Economics.

Now, don't you feel smart knowing you have made a robust decision ?

State Farm Not There

About two weeks ago, our town was hit by a storm that brought high winds and a class F1 tornado. Fortunately, no-one was injured, but a huge Pine tree that shaded our back yard was uprooted and landed on our house. To make things worse, we were without power for a few days until Com Ed got its act together, but more about that later. Surely, you must have heard the branding jingle that plays during all of State Farm's TV commercials, you know the one – "and like a good neighbor, State Farm is there". You've probably heard it a million times. Then, they show you how the agent magically arrives on the scene with a poof and a wish. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. I didn't hear from my agent until three days later, and I had to make several calls before I got through to the Catastrophic Claims Center in Jacksonville, FL. After a 45 minute wait on the phone listening to their stupid jingle, I finally got  through. The southern gentlemen who fielded my call explained what I should do to get the tree removed and what State Farm's limits typically were for a situation like mine. Although he was pleasant and knowledgeable, he did complain that they were working seven days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day. As a member of the ranks of the unemployed, I felt no sympathy for his cause.

  But it gets better. After going into my agent's office and telling him that I had not yet received a call from my adjuster, he promised to get on it right away for me. A short while later, I received a voice mail from my agent giving me the adjuster's name and phone number and he assured me that I would be receiving  a phone call from my adjuster shortly. The rest of the afternoon elapsed with no call from the adjuster. Finally, I called him that evening and was of course, directed to his voice mail. I did not hear back from the adjuster until almost a week after the storm, and when he did call back, he was less than enthusiastic about handling my claim. He took the necessary information with the demeanor of a robot, and then he informed me that State Farm doesn't cover Pine trees. What? RU kidding? We also had some damage to our roof and siding that I told him about. His response was the same. As we wrapped up our conversation, he told me that the earliest he could come out to assess the damage was July 20th. I thought he was joking but he was not. When I asked him if there was any possibility that he could come sooner, he said only if he had a cancellation. I told him that State Farm should hire more adjusters. He told me that they had thousands of adjusters in the field and that he had already made 97 phone calls that day. Not my problem I thought, but there was little I could do at that point other than to accept his schedule. 

  In short, the whole thing has left me with a bad taste in my mouth and no warm feelings toward State Farm. And Com Ed, the local power company wasn't much better. My neighbor still has a downed line in her yard, yet they restored power to her any way. So much for safety. All in all we survived, but it was in no way in part due to State Farm's rapid response they so often tout on TV. Here's a novel idea. Instead of spending millions on TV campaigns and PR, why not take that money and hire more adjusters and claims reps so they can actually deliver the kind of service they promise. And this whole incident underscores what is wrong with American business today. Put simply, the management just doesn't care. As long as the good old boys in the board room at State Farm get their million dollar bonuses, they don't really give a shit about their policy holders, and that's how I see it. And State Farm is supposed to be one of the most trusted names in the insurance industry. 

Can you imagine how they would respond to a hurricane or an earthquake? Let's hope we never have to find out.

The Relentless Pursuit of Perfection

No, I don't mean Lexus. Although  that's what probably  first pops into your mind. I'm talking about my dog , Rose. She's a Brittany Spaniel/Australian Cattle Dog mix that is to die for. The sweetest and smartest dog I have ever known. Sorry, Jackson. I just let her out in the yard after dinner and she still made a b-line for the tree in the corner. Why? Because that's where the black squirrel was. Perched a good twenty feet above on the limb of a Pine tree, it taunted Rose with its relentless squawks and noise as it has for the last two years. But to no avail, Rose came up short again. You see, Rose is part hunting dog and part herding dog. And even with her keen nose and incredible speed, she has yet to nail the elusive black squirrel. But I don't think she'll give up anytime soon. That would be untypical of Rose. So, in the spirit of Rose and others who relentlessly pursue their dreams, here's to you! And happy hunting.

Special Rose Bowl Edition

35 Bowl Games? RU kidding me? That's got to be a record. Yep, that's right. Thirty-five bowl games.

First, there's the Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl in St. Petersburg where the Southern Miss Golden Eagles (28) will take on the Louisville Cardinals (31). For the birds. Then there's the ever popular Chick-fil-A Bowl from Atlanta, the South Carolina Gamecocks (19) versus the Florida State Seminoles (23). Ho-hum, more birds, this time against some Indians. And of course, no bowl season would be complete without the GoDaddy.Com Bowl , which will be played in Mobile, Alabama. With both opponents unranked, the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders and the Miami (OH) Red Hawks should have fun putting on a show for the devoted football masses in HDTV land.

I must have been asleep at the wheel for the last few years, cause I was blown away when I checked the bowl game schedule on the Internet. In anticipation of watching my Badgers crush TCU on New Year's Day, I was looking for the Rose Bowl start time when I noticed the slew of bowl games that filled the page. I'm not sure when the explosion of bowl games actually took off, maybe they've been adding one or two a year for a while now. Back in the age of reason, it was just the Cotton Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Rose Bowl, and the Orange Bowl. Nice and simple. You knew who the teams were because for the most part they were the same, year-in and year-out. Ohio State, USC, Michigan, Notre Dame, UCLA, Boston College, Brigham Young, Alabama, Florida, Penn State. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, I didn't really mind when they added the Fiesta Bowl, and it didn't bother me all that much when they snuck in the Little Caesars Bowl and the MAACO Bowl too. But when they introduced the Ticket City Bowl, they really outdid themselves. The unranked Northwestern Wildcats against the also unranked Texas Tech Red Raiders, in Dallas. Speaking of which , Texas has 5 bowl games. That's right, five. They've got the Texas Bowl in Houston, the Alamo Bowl in San Antonio, the Sun Bowl from El Paso, the Armed Forces Bowl in Dallas, and the Cotton Bowl in Arlington. Wow, that's actually six if you include the Ticket City Bowl ! My bad.

But when all is said and done, the only game I really care about this bowl season is the classic matchup of the BIG 10 against the PAC 10. The Rose Bowl, the big daddy of em' all. Even though it's not for the national title, the Rose Bowl has somehow elevated itself among the best that college football has to offer. And this year will certainly be no exception. My prediction? Wisconsin by two touchdowns. GO BADGERS!

For Thanksgiving: Give Me Facetime, Not Facebook

Dear friends and family,


I just got off the phone with a long time friend of mine who suggested I share my thoughts with you because he thought I was onto something that was worthwhile, perhaps even visionary, so here goes.


He was relating a nightmare story of how he had purchased some furniture on the web from a supposedly legitimate entity. Now my friend Dave is no neophyte, in fact, he is quite a tech savvy guy who works in web applications development for a living. Prior to making his buying decision, he spent a considerable amount of time checking out all of the potential problems with his online purchase. Despite positive social media feedback about the manufacturer and claims from the vendor that his purchase was totally secure, the goods have yet to arrive some two months later. Even though the seller insisted that the order had been fulfilled and was being held up by Fed-Ex for processing, it was obvious to him that something wasn't right. Somewhere along the way through the numerous exchanges of electronic data and despite a whole series of system safeguards, the process failed. Which leads me to the reason I am writing to you now. It's all about the dehumanizing effect of technology and how it has taken over our lives. The digital distractions that masquerade as conveniences to make our lives easier are, in my opinion, actually creating more problems than they are solving. It is one thing to ask us to all embrace a new method of social interaction and commerce. It is quite another to incrementally remove human interaction from the equation until we are left with no other option. And all at our expen$e.


Have you noticed that the TV commercials are pushing the whole I-phone, Facebook, Twitter thing to the point of nauseating over saturation? Well if you have, then you are not alone. Way back in the 80's or 90's or somewhere thereabouts when the whole Internet revolution was still in its infancy, no-one really knew how things were going to pan out. They couldn't have predicted the infectious spread of viruses and identity theft, they couldn't have predicted that terrorists would be using cell phones to detonate bombs, and they couldn't have predicted the evolution of a system that now holds us captive. With marketing budgets in the billions, companies like Microsoft, Apple, Verizon, and AT&T are forging ahead with a relentless onslaught that even the banks and government have bought into. And they are herding us together like sheep to the proverbial slaughter.


Despite the so-called wonders of social networking that is being hailed as a panacea for everything from poor business performance to a vanishing middle -class, those of us who still have some gray matter left between our ears know that this is not really in our best interest. Just ask the parents of the teenager who committed suicide because her peers posted hurtful things about her on a social networking site. When all is said and done, only the major corporations that are heavily invested in this technology will be the winners. They really don't care about our quality of life or making the world a better place to live in. The only thing they are concerned with is profit. They simply will not stop until we are totally dependent upon them for our survival.


Now you may dismiss this idea as the ravings of a disgruntled lunatic who doesn't have the inclination or desire to own the latest droid, I-phone or device du jour they are pushing, and if you are one of those people, then so be it. I doubt you will even take the time to read this post, you are probably too busy downloading the latest app. And that's OK with me, I don't expect you to respond anyway. Ever see a 4 year old girl with an I-phone? There's nothing more telling about the pathetic nature of our society and just how low we have sunk in our quest to be hip. But I digress.


If I sound isolated, perhaps it's because I am. I have rarely felt more disconnected than I do right now. Getting a response from anybody is like pulling teeth.Usually what fills my inbox are out of office auto replies and solicitations for products and services I don't want and don't need. Unfortunately, there is little out there that qualifies as true communication.Virtual relationships are good to an extent, but in my opinion, there is still no substitute for the Real McCoy.

Hey, if you are in LA or DC and I'm stuck in the middle in Chicago, of course we can't just get together for a beer and hangout. But wouldn't it be nice to know that if the opportunity arose, there would be no hesitation on the part of those we think of as our friends to jump at the chance? The sound of a familiar voice on the phone, an unexpected invitation, a card to share some happy news, anything will do. Just let me know that I am in some way still relevant to you and that I am still in your thoughts, because you are still very much in mine. If I have been remiss in keeping up with my end of the bargain, then I offer my most sincere apologies. I will work harder to initiate and maintain communication from now on. Some of you may have recently lost loved ones, you may have lost your job, you may have lost your house or your nest egg. And although you may not be aware of it, I feel your pain. I feel it deeply and often.


So there it is. There is really nothing left for me to say. The ball is now in your court. All the TOOLS of communication are readily at your disposal, the only question that remains is: Does the WILL to communicate still exist, and if so, will you take the first step?


One final note: With the Holidays upon us, it is often easy to be overwhelmed by the needs and demands of others be they friends, family, or co-workers. I hope I have not added to your burden.




Best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving with all the trimmings life can offer.



Yours truly,


Michael

Poor Parenting in Action: When People Need to Shut Up

  Last night, I witnessed some really poor parent behavior in action. The story is worth sharing because if you are a parent and your kid plays football or other team sports, you might run into a similar situation if you already haven’t. It took place at the close of a practice scrimmage for my son’s varsity football team. Here’s how it went down:

  With only a few days left before the start of the season, the coaches decided to have a practice scrimmage against the JV (Junior Varsity) team. The goal is to give everyone a chance to play and see how they fare. All the coaches are volunteers and they don’t get paid for their time and effort, which can be considerable when you factor in the after work commute and all the preparation that goes into planning a practice.

  Every few downs, the coaches ask the kids who hasn’t been in the game yet. The players are supposed to stay close to the coaches on the sideline and raise their hand to let the coaches know if they haven’t been given any playing time. Usually this system works OK, but the starters still seem to get more action than some of the other kids. Unfortunately, one kid got passed up last night. I don’t know whether or not he didn’t raise his hand when prompted, or maybe he was just shy. Maybe he wasn’t paying attention, I don’t really know. But I can tell you that the exchange between the father and the coach after practice was not a very pretty sight. The father was obviously very irritated that his son was not included, and he let the coach know in no uncertain terms how he felt. Specifically, he called the coach a “ f***ing a-hole” and a “motherf***r” in front of the whole team as well as the other parents. The coach responded by getting equally pissed off and letting everyone know that he drives an hour each way to give his time every night, and that he doesn’t “need this s**t”.

  While the kid in question is somewhat overweight, I don’t think his being overlooked was intentional by any means. It gets dark earlier now and there are no lights on the field, so sometimes it’s hard to tell who is who. Also, there are four different coaches, and for some reason, the parent singled out the offensive coordinator as the perpetrator of the perceived injustice. Although he is not the head coach, he is probably the most vocal coach and as football coaches often do, they yell. I’m not saying that this is a good thing, but it seems to be part of the game.

  I know that the kid probably felt bad because as a youngster, I was short and heavy and not particularly athletic. Usually, I was one of the last kids to be picked whenever teams were chosen, so I can understand the parent’s desire to be an advocate for his son. However, the ugliness that ensued cast a dark cloud over the whole situation and left the whole team feeling bad.

  Aside from the obvious bad example that the parent set, the situation points to a more pervasive problem that exists with a lot of parents in general. In an effort to make sure that their children are given fair treatment, some parents will do anything, even if it means embarrassing themselves in public. As role models for our youth, this is simply unacceptable. Kids today are constantly being reminded to not bully others and to report bullying by their peers to adults. Through their contradictory words and actions, parents expose their hypocritical nature for all to see. The result is to further erode our youth’s confidence in adults at a time in their lives when they may desperately need to make sense of an often confusing world.

  The really sad thing about this incident is that the kid who was overlooked will probably experience some backlash from the coach and possibly from his teammates. I hope I am wrong. In the end, the father did no favor for his kid by verbally attacking the coach and putting on a public display of anger for everyone assembled. We may even be without an offensive coordinator for our opening game this weekend, and that would indeed be a real shame.

The Problem with “No Problem”

If you are a twenty something working in the retail or foodservice industry, then you would do well to take a piece of friendly advice from someone who was once standing in your shoes.

Lately, (actually for several years now) the response I have been getting from store associates and restaurant servers is “no problem”. Notice how I didn’t say clerks or waitresses, it’s about respect. Whether I have asked for a glass of water or asked where something was in the store, I am a still getting the standard, “no problem”. While this is often delivered in a courteous manner, it still falls short of respecting the customer on at least two levels.

First, when you reply with a “no problem”, it suggests to the customer that you are willing to overlook their interruption to your work. The mere inclusion of the word “no” automatically places a negative connotation on the exchange and suggests that you are going above and beyond the call of duty when in fact, you are actually just doing your job.  Second, it is a poor choice of words that sounds canned and impersonal, especially to those of us over 40. If the customer takes the time and effort to say “thank you” for your assistance, a much warmer and more effective response is “Your Welcome”. A nice alternative that also rolls off the tongue is “My Pleasure”.

I am well aware of the huge communication gap that exists between the younger and older generations, and I’m not saying that this is necessary all the time. To be sure, people can be extremely difficult, but when the situation warrants it and you’ve got no better reason not to, why not try smiling as you invoke these time tested winners ? I guarantee that your customers will notice. It may mean a bigger tip for you, a better performance review, or it just may make you feel better knowing that it really doesn’t take much to offer the respect that we all could use a little more of .

That Sinking Feeling

So much for optimism, now it's time for a good old- fashioned whack on the side of the head. What the hell is wrong with everybody? It's as if America has taken one giant stupid pill. I swear, I've never seen any more piss poor driving and rude public behavior than I have lately. Sure the economy is in the shitter and the Gulf of Mexico's floor is gushing oil like a cut jugular, but is that any reason to ignore the most basic of common courtesies? Like putting your headlights on in a downpour. Not only is it the law, but it's the smart thing to do and could save lives, maybe even your own! What most people fail to realize is that although they may be able to see OK in the rain without turning their headlights on, lots of other people cant see them. And how about  a turn signal once in a while? After all, automotive engineers have worked hard to put it literally at our finger tips, but alas, getting people to use it is like pulling teeth. They'd more readily text their agenda to their friends than let an oncoming motorist going 50 mph know that they are about to make a left turn. They'll just sit there and text while the traffic signals are changing and expect everyone else in the intersection to guess which way they are going. Arrogant bastards! Do you know how many accidents you have caused with your self-important attitude? I doubt that you care, but soon enough you will do yourself in with your relentless need to text while driving.
Why don't you give us all a break and concentrate on the road in front of you instead of that puny 2 x 3 screen in your hand? And back to the Gulf of Mexico, BP screw up. If we pass up this wake up call to make a serious move away from fossil fuel, then we are indeed all screwed. Nobody is really serious about getting rid of the internal combustion engine as the model of transportation. If they were, they would have done it already! They've been talking about it for 30 years and still, the best alternative cars they have come up with are the Chevy Volt, an overpriced GM product that has yet to hit the showroom floors of the good ole' USA, and the NISSAN Leaf, which, by all accounts I have read so far is not going to do the trick either. So , if it's going to be business as usual, then so be it. I have tried to convince people of the advantages of car pooling lanes and other incentives to reduce the terrible traffic congestion that haunts us all, but getting people to listen is virtually impossible. So when the shit really hits the fan, don't be too surprised when I say " Told You So".