tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077364184295987387.post3294503951265312831..comments2023-04-01T14:31:32.067-07:00Comments on The Gristmill: Thumperboy Go HomeBig Mouthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12897457176239493840noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077364184295987387.post-21486604659178885282009-05-22T11:29:28.049-07:002009-05-22T11:29:28.049-07:00Jeff Foxworthy on Illinois :
If your last governor...Jeff Foxworthy on Illinois :<br />If your last governor is headed for prison and the governor before him is already there, <br />You might live in Illinois .<br />If your latest US Senator lied to get the job, <br />You might live in Illinois ..<br />If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,<br />You might live in Illinois ..<br />If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, <br />You might live in Illinois .<br />If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,<br />You might live in Illinois ...<br />If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, <br />You might live in Illinois .<br />If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,<br />You might live in Illinois .<br />If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, <br />You might live in Illinois .<br />YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Illinoisian WHEN:<br />1. Vacation means going north or south on I-55 or I-57 for the weekend.<br />2. You measure distance in hours.<br />3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.<br />4.. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.<br />5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.<br />6.. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).<br />7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.<br />8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them.<br />9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.<br />10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.<br />11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, and It's Hot.<br />12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.<br />13. Down south means Missouri to you.<br />14. A brat is something you eat..<br />15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.<br />16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.<br />17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.<br />18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly."<br />19. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Illinois friends. (What's not to understand?)Bordehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17769849035494020137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077364184295987387.post-29253908235740334752009-05-22T11:26:23.254-07:002009-05-22T11:26:23.254-07:00Mt. Pilot. That had to be stegermediot.Mt. Pilot. That had to be stegermediot.Bordehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17769849035494020137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077364184295987387.post-10726144279339942322009-05-17T10:22:00.000-07:002009-05-17T10:22:00.000-07:00Congratulations on your new blog!Congratulations on your new blog!Big Mouthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12897457176239493840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077364184295987387.post-30324197178137177622009-05-15T17:26:00.000-07:002009-05-15T17:26:00.000-07:00Your analysis and pep talk of the situation is rig...Your analysis and pep talk of the situation is right on. Unfortunately, we still live in a reactionary society. So be prepared for quite a bit of pain before enough people act and force the creation of the necessary regulations to deal with this issue. In the meantime, I would suggest the Bose noise canceling headphones or moving to a less densely populated area.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17093954134653498871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077364184295987387.post-52381514431279289202009-05-15T14:47:00.000-07:002009-05-15T14:47:00.000-07:00As a quiet person I can sympathize with you. Beli...As a quiet person I can sympathize with you. Believe me, I've had my share with these advertisers.<br /><br />LouisUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02402799236032674527noreply@blogger.com